一、试题原文呈现
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
Mia had a great start to the day. She had a good night’s sleep and stayed in bed until seven o’clock. Her husband and her lovely son had gone skiing, so she could enjoy her freedom. Also, the house was very quiet and peaceful. “I’ll take a nap before I have breakfast,” thought the sleepy woman as she turned around and closed her eyes again.
However, a few minutes later, Mia woke up to a strange noise. “What was that?” thought Mia. The noise soon stopped, so she turned around again, thinking, “It was probably something in my dream.” But when she turned back to the other side of the bed, she heard the noise again. She was sure that the sound was coming from the window. Out of curiosity, she got out of bed and approached the window.
When she pulled the curtain aside, Mia couldn’t believe what she saw. There were two little squirrels (松鼠) in a nest, which might not be old enough to move freely. The noise was coming from here. The curtain in the room had been drawn for the past few weeks, so she hadn’t noticed that the lovely animals were making a nest on the tree branch beside the window. “I have to get this on camera,” she thought eagerly. She immediately took her camera and took pictures of the two cute squirrels.
The little squirrels were relaxed inside the nest. Mia could tell how peaceful the little creatures felt. Unfortunately, the window wouldn’t open, or she would have touched them and patted their heads.
“Their mother must have left them alone to look for food,” Mia thought, trying to get the perfect pictures from different angles. Actually, she wanted to take a clear picture of their cute, sleepy faces. However, she got the shock of her life when she brought the camera closer to the squirrels. An eagle resting on a tree opposite threatened to attack the tiny babies.
注意:1. 续写词数应150个左右;
2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Just as the eagle spread its wings, Mia’s natural reaction took over
Mia smiled with relief as the two little squirrels slowly relaxed their tense bodies.
二、“故事山”针对性科学读写指导
(一)第一步:拆解原文“故事山”,锚定情节与情感基线
“故事山”的核心是“情节+情感”双线并行,续写前必须先摸清原文的“山形”与“脉息”,避免偏离主线。
开端(Background):情节核心是Mia独处家中,计划小憩,环境宁静祥和;她的情感状态是放松、平和且带点慵懒。读写关键是后续行动需贴合“室内独处”设定,不能脱离居家场景。
发展(Rising Action):情节核心是Mia被奇怪声响吸引,拉开窗帘发现巢中幼松鼠,急切地尝试多角度拍摄;她的情感从好奇转为惊喜,满含对幼松鼠的温柔与喜爱。读写关键是延续这份喜爱,为后续“守护”行为铺垫合理动机。
高潮(Climax):情节核心是Mia拍摄时发现对面树上的老鹰正觊觎幼松鼠,幼崽生命岌岌可危;她的情感瞬间转为震惊、焦虑,同时涌起强烈的保护欲。读写关键是续写第一段需聚焦“化解危机”,让情节快速从高潮回落。
回落(Falling Action):对应续写第一段,情节核心是Mia实施驱鹰行动;情感轨迹需从极致紧张过渡到果断坚定,最终以危机解除达成初步释然。读写关键是行动必须符合“窗户无法打开”的原文限制,拒绝超现实情节。
结局(Resolution):对应续写第二段,情节核心是Mia兑现守护承诺;情感轨迹从释然欣慰逐步升温为温暖满足,最终领悟主题。读写关键是要有具体的守护行为,让情感自然升华,而非生硬说教。
(二)第二步:逐段精准指导,贴合“故事山”回落与结局逻辑
1. 第一段续写(回落段)指导
情节上,必须紧扣“窗户无法打开”的设定,只能利用室内可及物品驱鹰,比如制造声响的金属器具、晃动的显眼织物等,绝对不能出现“开窗抱松鼠”“召唤他人救援”等违规情节。
情感刻画上,要通过细节体现张力:用“心跳加速、手心出汗”等描写凸显紧张,以“毫不犹豫的动作、坚定的呼喊”展现守护决心,结尾以“老鹰离去”收尾,自然过渡到“初步释然”,呼应段首开头语。
句式技巧上,可用“Without a second thought”“At the same time”衔接连贯动作,用“as if”描写幼松鼠的恐惧反应,通过动静结合增强画面感,让情节更具感染力。
2. 第二段续写(结局段)指导
情节上,需设计“兑现承诺”的具体行为,比如半拉窗帘默默观察、准备适合幼松鼠的食物、耐心等待等,且必须出现“松鼠妈妈归来”的闭环情节,让故事完整收尾。
情感升华上,要从“救助后的释然”逐步过渡到“守护中的温暖”,最终落脚于“平凡守护的意义”。可通过Mia的心理活动或行动细节传递感悟,避免直接喊口号式的主题表达。
细节关联上,可呼应原文中“相机、丈夫与儿子”等元素,让续写与原文衔接更紧密,比如提及家人相关的物品,既丰富细节又贴合Mia的人物背景。
(三)第三步:规避常见误区,贴合评分标准
• 误区1:情节超纲,比如“开窗抱走松鼠”“打电话求救”,违反“窗户无法打开”“独处”的核心设定,直接偏离主线,导致逻辑断裂。
• 误区2:情感单薄,仅简单表述“她很紧张”“她很开心”,缺乏细节支撑,需用“palms sweaty(手心出汗)”“eyes brimming with tears(热泪盈眶)”等具象化表达间接体现情感。
• 误区3:主题脱节,仅停留在“成功驱鹰”的情节层面,未延续“守护”主线,需通过“持续关注、等待松鼠妈妈”等行为回扣核心主题。
三、精品范文
Just as the eagle spread its wings, Mia’s natural reaction took over. Her heart raced as the predator’s sharp talons glinted in the sun. Without a second thought, she banged her fist hard on the window and yelled firmly, “Leave them alone!” The sudden noise and vibration startled the eagle, which hovered mid-air, eyes locked on Mia behind the glass. She didn’t stop—flicking on her camera’s flash, she kept flashing it at the bird while tapping the window frame repeatedly. The tiny squirrels huddled tightly, bodies shaking, but Mia’s continuous commotion finally forced the eagle to let out a screech and fly away.
Mia smiled with relief as the two little squirrels slowly relaxed their tense bodies. Minutes later, a bushy-tailed squirrel scampered up the branch, carrying food in its mouth—their mother! The babies chirped excitedly, nuzzling against her. A warm sense of fulfillment washed over Mia as she watched the reunion. The mother squirrel paused briefly on the branch, glancing at Mia as if in thanks, before tending to her young. Mia held her camera gently, grateful she’d not only captured precious photos but also kept a silent promise to protect the vulnerable. That day, her nap was forgotten, but she gained a profound truth: small acts of courage can be a safe haven for those in need.


